tumblr. It’s centered around my mental health, specifically my trichotillomania, the compulsive and uncontrollable urge to pull out one’s own hair. I find it extremely ironic how my depression caused a relapse of trich, and dealing with trich is making me depressed. The url is “trichotillo.tumblr.com”. It will contain some of my most personal thoughts and feelings, in hope that someone out there is feeling the same way and we can all make it through together.

idlearth:

I can’t breathe. jfidashreiauf,;jbdsv

WHAT!?!

idlearth:

If you think about it really hard for a moment, you realize that the bible and scientific fact are two equally unbelievable things.

I feel like I’m getting kind of preachy but I really want you to find the comfort you seek. And hey, I have both opinions and an internet connection. I just want to offer my thoughts as something to ponder.

I agree with your statement, fully. I think it is equally pretentious for humans to believe that they know the method of inception of the Earth and all the things in it, from either belief’s side. So here’s a question for you:

Say you walked into your friends house and you see a 500,000 piece puzzle on the ground. You ask how it came to be and they say, “I opened the box, and it took me ages to finish it.”

Now imagine the same situation except when you ask then how it came to be, they say, “I have no idea. One day, the pieces just appeared and arranged themselves to create this beautiful masterpiece.”

Now, Which one is more impressive? (Do you see where I am going here?)

My personal stance on Religion vs. Science is that I choose to not take a side. Humans think they know and can figure out everything, but this is far from true, as I’m sure you can agree. Why not choose to marvel at it all? Why not choose to live in wonder and accept the one fact that is actually true; that no one will ever actually know for sure how we and the world came to be? 

idlearth:

Even theism is too ridiculous for me to believe right now. 

I really want to believe in a god, but I just can’t.

I don’t know how I did before, but I just cant anymore.

Moni, I hate seeing you struggle so much. I can tell that the whole religion thing is really eating at you, so this is my attempt to help you as much as I can.

Here’s how I see your predicament with religion: Perhaps you should not limit yourself by labeling what your beliefs with Christianity, Atheism, Theism, or what have you. Why not try being “This is what Moni Believes in”? My personal stance on ‘god’ is that I do believe that there is a higher power, but it does not determine your fate as a person or answer prayer. It’s kind of a nature thing (hipster, I know).  I think that personifying this higher power by calling it a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ or even giving it a name and referring to it as ‘God’ is slightly pretentious, because we then assume that it is anything like us when it is not. Your religion or deity does not require a name. I personally do not even call what I believe in a ‘religion’.

God is designed to give us something to believe in when we are unable to believe in each other or even ourselves. So ask yourself; why do I want to believe in God? I think that you are not an Atheist because you crave this relationship with a higher power, but you are unable to find it. The solution? Find that relationship. When I am unable to believe in myself, knowing that there is something else out there, something greater, always makes me feel better. It is comforting to know that you are an underling. It is comforting to know that something is watching over me, observing. I gave up Christianity because I felt that when I prayed, there was no answering. However, I later knew that something was definitely listening. God? No. The universe? Maybe. 

idlearth:

If anyone else is as turned off and disgusted by this as I am, I will marry you.